Just Another Chapter

i haven't been writing for sooo long. I know from the beginning I created this blog I won't be blogging constantly. Writing is not really my thing.. (that explains why my essays in school never in the top score =P)

since the last update..I had my exams, finished them, went back to my lovely home country, got my results, stayed home like a full-time housewife, packed my stuffs and whoaalaa I'm back to where I've started, back to Adelaide. Feel a bit relieved as here I could settle a few things that have been bothering me for the month.

As for next week, the new chapter of my life will start.
Anxious. Happy. Excited. Confused. Laziness.
All combine into one emotion. To be honest I don't know what to expect. The important thing that I can do now is just to get ready for whatever coming. Be prepared.
Deep in my heart, I just want to be comfortable and be happy. I want to learn many things that life could offer and of course depends how much my brain can occupy.

Oh God, please make life easier for me...

..eid ul fitr..

tomorrow suppose to be a day that I've been waiting for a month if not a year. tomorrow suppose to be a day I'll be excited from the night before. tomorrow suppose to be a day of gathering with family and friends. tomorrow is what they called RAYA.

but i don't have a slight feeling of what suppose to be felt. to make it worst i have a test. eventhough it's a day of celebration I wont be able to celebrate with much fun. tomorrow after eid prayer, i have to rush to class. It's not a new experience tho, this is the third time. but oh well, that's what they say..'raya di perantauan'. one thing for sure, i miss my family, but i'm not sure whether they're missing me.. =P

good or worst this experience will make me smile later on. Celebrating with friends, that's what i gonna cherish my whole life. Next year there wont be the same people, some will be gone and new ones will come. This is the time I need to value every moment. Even how much my brain is occupied, I should allow some space, for this moment to be captured. I might want to visit that the small spot again anytime later. I surely will.

I would like to take this opportunity to seek forgiveness from everyone. Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin to all!

Antidepressants

I was called to write about this topic while I was revising my pharmacology chapter this morning. It is an interesting part to write because of the increasing number of people are taking it since it was introduced to the society in 1980's, an antidepressant era.

Depression is a common psychiatric disorder which is a disorder of mood rather than disturbances of thoughts or cognition. People who are depressed usually have misery, apathy, low self esteem, loss motivation and some biological symptoms such as disturbances of sleep and retardation of action and thought. Okay, now I know, when you read this, you might be thinking, "I think I'm depressed."Before you go further into it, let me tell you that it is not as simple as that. The symptoms should be ongoing and have major impact into one's life. Those symptoms could lead one to discontinue having normal activities that usually occur after a massive trauma such as losing the loved ones or stressful life events.

Antidepressants become an interest of many researchers in many part of the world because of the potential profit they offer. Thanks to the hu-ha of the media about depression, depression is now well marketed and so do the antidepressants. People who only have minor stress due to workload in workplaces or complicated problems at home will straight away find solution from Prozac (fluoxetine), which is the most commonly prescribed antidepressant. This medication is a Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) and its action is to increase the neurotransmitter which help to stimulate the brain. Sounds clever right? It certainly is, as many people get some relieved from this medication eventough it only gives effect after 2-4 weeks taking this medication. But what happens during that 2-4 weeks? Some studies have shown patients who are taking this type of medication could have tendency of suicidal. Hmm that is really a bad news indeed. Antidepressant doesn't suit into the description here, antidepressant that causes suicide??

The unwanted side effects of suicidal mostly effect teenagers and children. What concern me here is why do these children need to take the antidepressant in the first place? I can't deny children and teenagers also have stressful life events that are difficult to handle but as adults around them, offering medications is not the answer. It could be an easy short-term solution for these teenagers but in the end, we are destroying their lives even more. In later life, they won't be able to handle simple stresses and cannot live without these miracle medications.

Now, here it makes me think of another side of the topic, what do we believe most in life and how do we make ourselves strong enough to handle stress? Everything that occur in life I believe must have another purpose that we might or might not know. Every bad things happen will eventually leads to a better life in some point or later. Qada' and qadar I would say. If whenever you feel weak and you feel that you couldn't handle anymore, just remember that your Creator is always with you. Turn to Him, you might not find the answer immediately, but just remember He always plan the best for you. I always believe that, the burden that we faced are the burdens that we are able to handle, He will never give those that are unbearable for you.

If I haven't made myself clear, antidepressants are not the sole answer!

~In conclusion, antidepressants should only considered as the last option for the treatment of mood disorder~

Monday??..

..ok now I just realized today is Monday..yes that Monday which I never hope it'll come..
But lucky enough it's labour day, and it is still a holiday!! At least one more day to leisure.

Haiihhh..spring break is over. And what I had gained from it? Well...*thinking for minutess*.. tick..tick.. still I haven't got the answer!

My holiday that I had 'happily' wasted has ended (yes I have to repeat myself to wake me up for reality). To make myself feel good, I should say I enjoyed myself during this holiday. That what is important, I feel relax and I had treasure the holiday. When the term starts I have to put on my full gear and never look back (I dont have time for that). My main focus should be on the books,notes and the online-learning. Thinking bout my main objective of being here, I should remain in focus until the exam is over. Exam? Oh, how writing it sends shiver straight to my spine. Eventough this semester I only have 3subjects but God knows how much stuffs to learn!

Believe me or not I actually enjoy my studies at the moment. Learning these stuffs are fun, now at least I am able to visualize the practical use of the stuffs compared to the things I learned in second year or worst in the 1st year. It seems true that people said, enjoy the work you do and you learn better. Understanding is much more easier if you are enthuastic about the topic. But what remains to be done is the courage to stay focus and not letting yourself get carried away by the evil net..yes the internet. Which I could say my biggest problem at the moment. There are so much stuffs in it to be seen or heard or do. My hands couldn't get off the keyboard if not the mouse.

*haaiih*

Waiting...where are you spring break?

I'm counting the days now..can't hardly wait for the holiday!! Ok I know the break is not really a holiday, it's called 'Revision Break'---> it sounds soo contradicting aite? But anyway, this break I have number of things to settle especially with the UMNO activities and the upcoming international night that will be held close to the exam week. That's the reason why we need to prepare it wayy early (1month ahead).


Tomorrow I will have a dinner with a few friends in the city. I don't know the real purpose of this dinner in the mid-week but one thing for sure, we'll gonna have fun! Yerp, we should have fun before the tiring placement the next day, hey? I really hope the placement will not be too bad and hopefully I can enjoy the last placement for this year :) The placement before this was good, I learned so much and it was very enjoyable. The clinical pharmacist was really helpful (not because she gave me good marks tho), she never tired of answering my endless questions hehe..or maybe she is, but not showing it to me?haha hopefully not! Isk, I sounded like a kid who just experienced a first day in school hey? So I better stop the crap now.

Damn..now the internet connection is down AGAIN..I probably cant publish it at the moment
*sigh*

Myself and Today

yeahhhaaa..finally the weekend that i've waited for soo long has already arrived. I have finished my test, the upcoming test is still quite far away and I don't have tonnes work (still means I have some work to finish up) makes me a bit relieve. At least I can enjoy my sleeping time better for this weekend.

Nothing much I had done since yesterday, just did some chores here and there in the house. Yesterday, on Friday night, my friends and I went for dinner at the Central Market. One of my friends had been craving for Ho Fun then off we went long way to the market. I have eaten dinner at home, so I dont feel really hungry and I ordered this so-called Nugget Waffle with Ice Cream. The waffle was nice I could say, but not the ice cream. Quoting what Hani said, 'It tasted like cheap ice cream'. And yerp, I totally agree with what she has said.

Oh I received a news yesterday, my friend who is in Melbourne is sick and she wanted to differ her studies back to home country. I was a bit shock because I never knew she had hyperthyroid before and I'm not sure when she had been diagnose with the condition. Sigh, I'm really sorry to hear the news about her, for me, she trully is a good friend and by that I mean; a kind hearted and generous friend. She's been a really good host when we were in Melbourne TWICE. I hope God will always bless her and let she has the good health she deserves.

And other news is that my friend is the cover girl for one famous Malaysian magazine this month. Check it out! But I will not tell which magazine :) The make over that she had reminds me of my own experience undergoing a magazine's make over session. Looking back the memories makes me chuckle, a type of experience that you can never forget. I remembered how I had cried almost the whole day when the magazine came out as I was terrified of my own picture published in a magazine and being viewed by the whole country. Obviously I had thought of it before the session, but when the time really came, I never imagined it was that real (i know that sounds exaggerating,but that what it felt like). I was never proud of my photo in the magazine, and I kept it away from me until now. I should try to have a look again the photo in the magazine and I guess it shouldn't that bad hey? If not how can they publish it to the public?

I wonder..hurmm..

Try and Error

I've spent most of my time now trying to learn the new things to add on this blog. I seriously need help!

A new beginning

Another blog is created from me! (I have lost track how many times I made new blogs :))

Anyway, I hope I can stick with this one, and be creative with it. For any viewers, enjoy reading!